Yossarian's Catch

Remember, Tolstoy once said...

2006-04-18T14:44:00.000-05:00

Во всей истории нет никакой войны, которая не была заштрихована правительствами, правительства, одни, независимые от интересов людей, к которым война является всегда пагубной даже когда успешно

funny quotes that just cheer up the day...

2006-04-18T14:25:00.000-05:00

"I'd like to move us right to Peter Gibbons. We had a chance to meet this young man, and boy that's just a straight shooter with upper management written all over him."

and....

"I'm sorry, who are you again?"
"I'm Frieda's boss."
"Who's Frieda?"
"My secretary."

getting paid to blog...

2006-04-06T08:32:00.000-05:00

Thought i would share this with anyone who wants to read it...

2006-03-29T16:37:00.000-05:00

"I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis."

now, i didn't make this up...Douglas Adams did. and this too:

"It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem. For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much -- the wheel, New York, wars and so on -- whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man -- for precisely the same reasons."

damn...i have just been outsmarted by a fish...i mean mammal. still, they do taste good in my tunafish salad...oops...sorry to the treehuggers out there...i was just joshing. i really don't eat tunafish salad. (but i am sure they are quite tasty just the same.)

oh...and please please please

2006-03-21T13:45:00.000-05:00

go out and purchase Ben Harper's new double cd "Both Sides of the Gun"

It is a fucking awesome album and you should support artists that don't ryhme with whitney leers and nifty bent.

If you like mellow, then the first CD will be up your alley. If you like a lot of funk and rock'n'roll, then the second disk will be kick-ass. if you like both (as i seem to) then the $15 you pay for it will be well spent.

just my 2 cents...

ok...so i am alive...

2006-03-21T13:10:00.000-05:00

it is just that i am now a Scientologist and i am not allowed to talk to any of you...ha ha ha just joshing.

i hope that a bunch of the "locals" that used to read my blog still do, i was just a little slammed with work for a while. now that they are done treating me like a bitch, i can get some of my important work done like adding posts to my blog.

lots of new stuff...too much to write in just this second, but i will be adding more in the next day or so...

please stay well....

PS.. hey PK you have a new blog? where?

I hate my job...

2006-02-27T15:56:00.000-05:00

in most aspects, this job is the only one that i would really want to do...BUT.....

i fucking hate my job last week and this week and probably for the next two weeks. It sucks. My bosses suck. This GD laptop sucks. i fucking hate airplanes, if i have to ride one more (actually, i have to ride a bunch in the next couple of weeks) i am going to jump out of one while on takeoff and hopefully i get run over by the next airplane taxiing. (just joshing...then there would be a huge, red "justin" pancake and my family would have to shovel me into a casket...)

did i mention that i am super-stressed out at work and that i absolutely hate my job?...no?

i fucking hate my job!!!

these blogs are really good therapy...just by saying that i hate my fucking job i feel better by the moment...though i feel worse now b/c i should be working on a stupid assignment...

just so that my blog entry does not depress you all to my level where you might actually hate your fucking job, i leave you these:

first one is entitled: "i should have jumped off these rocks when i had the chance.... "

followed by the second one: "who here has ever had kangaroo luvin?" (ok...guess i am the only one in that club)....

a little outdate but..

2006-02-11T03:17:00.000-05:00

this was meant to be posted a couple of days ago, but we have had very limited connectivity for some odd reason:

Wow…soooo tired.

Two nights ago CS and I went to drink in Kings Cross. It is kinda like Baltmore’s Fells Point or DC’s Adams Morgan. But with prostitutes. Many, ugly, scary prostitutes. I think we got propositioned, but I was mortally terrified. Just kept walking.

The bars in this area stay open until the crowds leave. We were there until 3 or 4am. Got pretty drunk. Met a Swiss girl. CS and I taxied home and proceeded to drink until around 6am. Gotta love fucked up body time-clocks.

CS and I went to Manly yesterday. To get to there, you have to take the Manly Ferry….ha ha…I just said Manly Ferry (oxymoron like giant shrimp...) sorry, I might not be making sense cause my body is still not on the right time schedule. Oh well…

There is a fantastic beach in Manly that we just hung out at. Apparently, CS does not like the ocean that much. As soon as I got in the sand, I went out into the surf. My back and shoulders and legs just ache…

I finally got CS to come out and body surf, when the lifeguards announced that there were “bluebottles” in the ocean and to be aware. We call them Portuguese man-of-wars. Apparently, there sting hurts for about a half hour and there is no known pain reliever. And some people can be allergic to their stings and die. Nice huh? I also read that of the 10 deadliest snakes in the world, all are found in Australia…can’t wait to go for a hike!!!!

We had “Turkish pizza” for dinner. Kind like our pizzas but not round. And not the same toppings. They don’t call their peppers “peppers”, instead it is “capsicum.”

Last night, after our 2 hour nap until 10pm, we went to Darling Harbor to drink at a place called Cargo Bar. After our 3rd drink, they called last call at 1am. Damn damn damn…we tried to find another drinking hole, but the only area open at that time was Kings Cross, but I was still scared from the night before, so we just went home and drank.

I got up this morning at 7:30 (again…jet lag) and did the dishes, cleaned the place (what a nice beotch I am) and then went for a 4 mile run to the AMP tower in Sydney CBD. I was reading that the AMP tower is the tallest building in the Southern Hemisphere. I am yet to go to the top, but probably will. The AMP sorta looks like the Space Needle.

I just finished a huge falafel and hummus sandwich….oh so good...and am waiting for CS to finish showering after his measly 2 mile run (ha ha) so that we can go explore again.

More to tell later…

Good-day from Oz....

2006-02-07T02:20:00.000-05:00

so...where do i start?...I guess i'll start out by telling you that i love stupid people. In sydney, it is pretty fucking hard to find a cafe with free wi-fi. in fact, i think it is almost impossible to find it. the hotel wants to charge $20AUS per day. screw that...that is few good strong drinks at the bar. so i decided to check if i could pick up someone's unprotected wi-fi. yurp. stupid people. thanks "paul" for you netgear system. works perfectly from this couch where i am drinking a bicardi and coke.

so the flights over here were LONG. five hours in the air from DC to LA and then 15 hrs from LA to sydney. when my flight was coming in to land, freak 5omph wind gusts were blowing. we dropped 200 ft at about 1000ft... so fucking frightening. babies crying, grown men whimpering. i was more concentrated on the fact that my left ear was yet to equalize pressure and it felt like i was constantly getting stabbed in the eardrum with a toothpick. after 3 attempts at landing where the pilot had to slam the thrust forward, we were able to get down. everyone clapped LOUDLY...i heard christians, jews and muslims all saying prayers. all i was saying was "ah..excuse me...where is the duty free shop with the alcohol?"

got into the hotel around 11pm sydney time on feb. 6th. i think that time travel is possible. somehow, i lost a day. people keep telling me that i'll make it back up, but i just want to know where it dissapear to. speaking of disappearing, back in 1964, the Aussie PM went for a swim in the ocean and was never heard from ever again. cmon, how does a country misplace their PM? (just useless reading while on an EXTREMELY long flight)

I almost don't want to come back to the US. not for how nice it is here, but more for the fact i don't want to sit next to anyone for almost an entire day while bumping up and down in the air...

During the flight, we went over the big island of Hawaii. so fucking spectacular. we went in between the two volcanoes there. it was so strange seeing the coastline with whitewash going into this lush green hills to snow-capped mountains. gorgeous.

anyway, when i got to the hotel, CS had already checked in. when i set all my bags down, i gave him a big hug for me and for all of you that might care for him. we broke open my bottle of rum from the spectacular duty-free shop and had a few rum and cokes and sat on our 9th floor balcony. if i do say so myself, i did a superb job in finding housing. this "apartment" is PHAT. i use that word so PK doesn't get lonely saying outdated slang. big living room/dining room with a 6 person wood table, two bedrooms with plush pillows, we each have our own loos. and the most important part is that there is a room safe. a must on overseas travel when you have a passport and cash to take care of.

Today we woke up around 6 or 7am. while i was taking my half hour shower, CS went to the convenient store and bought a newspaper. in another freak weather condition, it is cool and cloudy here. probably in high 70's / low 80's. we took a jaunt to the CBD (central business district) and exchanged money, bought our weeklong transpo pass, had breakfast and then went to a bar for a 11am beer. nothing like being on vacation.

for all the men out there reading. Sydney women are fucking outstanding. the bank teller hit on me. she was cute. told me of a few of her favorite bars. i might actually have to "run" into sonya again...ha ha ha

we came back to the hotel so i could drop off my quid (actually, i don't know if Aussies call it that...but i will for the sake of an interesting story). CS is calling all his family...blah blah blah. we are going to hit the grocery store in a bit since it is kind of a crappy day here. then maybe back to the city, or maybe just rest up for a bit. i am in the mood for a seafood dinner...maybe sushi...yeah...sushi...ummmmmm

i am listening to some Sun Kil Moon as i type this. again, for all you mellow people out there, give him a listen. good stuff.

well, i gotta run...more later.

PS...PK, give my love to EB, miniEB and miniPK. sorry i couldn't talk to you all before i left. also, if you talk to mom, tell her i landed ok and have taken up drinking and womanizing as a career.

Pretty picture...

2006-01-23T15:55:00.000-05:00

Salt River, St. Croix, U.S. Virgin Islands

Thanks for all of your thoughts...

2006-01-19T17:46:00.000-05:00

I am going to NOLA!!! woo hoo...

The Codetalkers with Col. Bruce Hampton are playing at Tipitinas Thursday night...
Beignets and cafe are being sold again at Cafe DuMonde...
Purple Haze is being brewed at Abita Springs...
And if Jacques-Imo's could just be open (haven't confirmed that one yet) so I could get some crawfish etouffee, all will be right with the world...

I don't know which is more painful...

2006-01-18T20:23:00.000-05:00

I don't watch much TV. I start off with that b/c of what I am about to say: I don't have cable TV. With that said, I have 4 channels...and one of those right now has a Billy Graham special on and the other is American Idol. Both shows are fucking ruining the name of MUSIC!!!!

Feast or Famine...

2006-01-18T18:05:00.000-05:00

A couple of my bosses ("I have eight different bosses right now." "Eight?" "Eight, Bob. ") called me today and I might be going to New Orleans for four days next week...woo hoo...this will at least be on the company dime.

I want all of you to stop wishing for peace, the end of hunger, the dismantlement of nuclear arms, etc....and start wishing for me to go to NOLA for a few days...God will understand...

ha ha ha

Now, for the really good news...

2006-01-17T11:03:00.000-05:00

I AM FLYING TO AUSTRALIA TO HANG OUT WITH CHAIRBORNE STRANGER FOR TWO (count it...one...two) WEEKS!!!! WOO HOO!!!

so far the itinerary is:

leave DC on Feb 5
arrive Sydney Feb 6
Fly to Melbourne Feb 12
Fly to Brisbane Feb 15
Fly back to Sydney Feb 17
Fly to DC Feb 19

It sucks that i am going to miss the Super Bowl, but my alternate two teams (stillers and panthers) will be playing and both will lose...ha ha ha GO Skins!!!(next year)

phew!!!

2006-01-17T10:51:00.000-05:00

ok...sorry for being such a fucktard...been busy with work and play.

anyway, to sum up the post that got screwed up and to add a bit:

I have checked out a few shows lately and i report that Taylor Carson is a fantastic musician and everyone should check him out in the Arlington VA area. He is a singer/songwriter that plays an amazing acoustic guitar and is witty as shit. he asked the crowd for a cover song he shoud sing and no one said anything, so he asked for a subject to sing about. a listener shouts "rice crispies" from the back and Taylor sings a 4 minute song about rice krispies and girls....freaking hysterical.

If you are in the Richmond VA area or if they come back, you should go see the Conshafters...excellent punk music...the lead singer really puts his all into it...

On this past sunday, i went to balmore (baltimore) to see imogen heap. the show was outta-sight!!! she wailed and played piano and mixes and her opener (zoe keating) came out and played cello loops for some of her songs...i highly suggest her shows.

Now this really sucks!!!!

2006-01-10T18:20:00.000-05:00

I just got done writing a big-ass post and then something screws up on blogger.com and my entire entry is lost...damn damn damn...now i have to start all over...

if my work day does not get any better....

Stay the course...

2006-01-05T16:46:00.000-05:00

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." ~ G.W.Bush August 5, 2004

There is a fine line between...

2006-01-03T15:36:00.000-05:00

the look of hope and the look of despair...

I am still holding out for the safe return of the 13 miners to their families....

Almost forgot it was a 2006...

2006-01-03T01:03:00.000-05:00

NYE was a blast...probably too much debauchery to post here (Big Brotha and all watching) but it involved alcohol, drugs, flesh, and some more drugs and alcohol. On a good note, I have quit social smoking...new year and all...

WE WON THE SUGAR BOWL!!!!

2006-01-03T00:52:00.000-05:00

woo-hoo

WVU beat UGA in an upset tonight 38 to 35. GO EERS!!!

Hoping for the best for the 13 WV coalminers and their families...

2006-01-02T20:47:00.000-05:00

After an explosion, the coalminers were trapped about 6:30 a.m. ET (1/2/06) about eight miles south of Buckhannon near Tallmansville in Upshur County.

Buckhannon is about 30 minutes away from where CS, Jonnycakes and I are from...

"Hear O Lord, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me" ~ Psalm 27:7

Ever get the feeling...?

2005-12-29T17:27:00.000-05:00

He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it. ~ Douglas Adams

2006 Concert #001

2005-12-29T16:40:00.000-05:00

Just got tickets to see Imogen Heap (Frou Frou) at the Recher Theatre in Bmore MD on January 15th. Woo hoo...

I am calling this concert #001 even though I am going to see Robert Randolph and the Family Band on Dec. 31/Jan. 1. We are bolting the RR show before midnight b/c a friend of ours rented an entire bar for NYE/her B-day party...

Imogen Heap is only playing 12 US shows this spring and I have been wanting to catch her live shows b/c she uses loops to really get her shows going...sucks that it the show is on a Sunday night and up in Bmore...

If you are curious as to her shows, here is a half-hour live recording (click "watch", not "listen"):
http://kcrw.com/cgi-bin/db/kcrw.pl?show_code=mb&air_date=10/26/05&tmplt_type=show
If you are not completely hooked by the end of the show, return the unused portion for a full refund...

PS...Bonnaroo has announced the dates for 2006's festival...June 16-18...gonna be an absolutely spooktacular year of music...

raise your glasses to a record setting year of shows...

I quit...

2005-12-21T14:49:00.000-05:00

My friends and family are assholes...

I am going to start a completely new blog and not tell any of you where it is...

Should we trust our friends' opinions?

2005-12-21T13:52:00.000-05:00

In general, I would say "yes". Except...when your friend is trying to hook you up with their other friend.

So I says to KS "what is she like? is she cute? hot? fun?" you know...all the normal questions. KS - who is a girl btw - says that the other girl she is trying to hook me up with is A) a ton of fun, B) likes to go out socializing, C) is really good looking and D) has a hot bod.

LIAR!!!!! KS should be running around trying to douse her burning trousers for such lies.

She was A) boring as shit...she only liked talking with her cell phone and the bartender because he was the guy slinging drinks whereas she thinks B) socializing = getting drunk as shit. And I know looks aren't everything (ok, i really shouldn't lie to myself), but she really wasn't good looking and her body was...eh...so C) and D) were false too.

Luckily I don't ask this girl for financial advice or I really would be up the proverbial creek.

Hoo says thet Wes Virginiens can't reed or right...

2005-12-21T13:18:00.000-05:00

West Virginia Sen. Jay Rockefeller, the Senate Intelligence Committee's top Democrat, on Monday released a letter he wrote to Cheney in July 2003 that, given the wiretapping program's secrecy, he was "unable to fully evaluate, much less endorse these activities."

Damned if you do...

2005-12-19T17:41:00.000-05:00

There was, of course, a catch.
"Catch-22?" inquired Yossarian.
"Of course," Colonel Korn answered pleasantly... "After all, we can't simply send you home for refusing to fly more missions and keep the rest of the men here, can we? That would hardly be fair to them... You know, you really have been making things terribly difficult for Colonel Cathcart. The men are unhappy and morale is beginning to deteriorate. And it's all your fault."
"It's your fault," Yossarian argued, "for raising the number of missions."
"No, it's your fault for refusing to fly them," Colonel Korn retorted. "The men were perfectly content to fly as many missions as we asked as long as they thought they had no alternative, Now you've given they hope, and they're unhappy. So the blame is all yours."
"Doesn't he know there's a way going on?" Colonel Cathcart, still stamping back and forth, demanded morosely without looking at Yossarian.
"I'm quite sure he does," Colonel Korn answered. "That's probably why he refuses to fly them."
"Doesn't it make any difference to him?"
"Will the knowledge that there's a war going on weaken your decision to refuse to participate in it?" Colonel Korn inquired with sarcastic seriousness, mocking Colonel Cathcart.
"No, sir," Yossarian replied. ~ Joseph Heller

Let me get this straight...

2005-12-19T13:52:00.000-05:00

We couldn't find any WMD's and now we release 8 Baathist scientist that were in our Iraqi Deck of Cards?

The U.S. military has released eight former Baathist detainees of high value, a military spokesman said Monday.
Among them are two female biological weapons experts: Rihab Taha, the head of Iraq's biological weapons program, also known as "Dr. Germ;" and Huda Salih Mahdi Ammash, a top weapons scientist, known as "Mrs. Anthrax," CNN has learned. Both were captured a week apart in May 2003.

The other detainees released are: Hussam Mohammed Amin, the former head of the national monitoring directorate in charge of dealing with weapons inspectors and No. 34 on the U.S. list; former education minister Humam Abdul Khaliq (No. 43 on the list); former atomic scientist Hazim al-Rawi; former Uday Hussein aide Aseel Tabra; scientist Thamir al-Taie; Ibrahim al-Ani, a former member of Iraqi intelligence; scientist Dhia Mahir al-Tikriti; former prison director Hameed al-Janabi; and former transport minister Ahmed Murtadha.

If these people were released...how bad are those in prison in Guantanamo? And don't you think these people might be the least bit pissed at the US for holding them for two years? Brilliant way to make friends if you ask me....

Can anyone tell me where the line is drawn?

2005-12-19T13:40:00.000-05:00

President Bush said Monday he intends to continue using secret wiretaps to monitor activities of people in the United States suspected of being connected to al Qaeda.

I am not so upset that the wiretaps are going on as much as the fact that Bush gets with his lawyer cronies and figures ways around our Constitution to have policies in secret. What is wrong with him going through the channels of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) Court? Do you think the FISA court publishes all their documents so the average terrorist can just look up his name to see if wiretaps are on his communications? NO!!! So why does Bush feel it is necessary to authorize them himself?

And who does he fear to say that he authorizes these taps himself? no one since he won't be going up for re-election.

And then for Bush to say: "My personal opinion is, it was a shameful act for someone to disclose this very important program in a time of war," "The fact that we're discussing this program is helping the enemy." yeah...like the terrorists don't know we are using all our capabilites to destroy them... Now that we actually told them we listen to our phone calls they are going to switch over to smoke signals...

This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia.

2005-12-18T20:50:00.000-05:00

"So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice." - Carl Spackler

Happier (and apparently much funnier) times...

2005-12-18T20:29:00.000-05:00

Oh...CS is gonna kill me now. Please note that this was the late 80's....ha ha ha

CS...I have known you long enough to say that you are a good looking man. As a kid...not so much.

Hope this makes you laugh Salty...

To War and Back...

2005-12-18T20:10:00.000-05:00

As much as I like the Simpsons (Homer & Marge, not Nick & Jessica mind you), I am watching Tom Brokaw's special report on soldiers in Iraq...Hopefully you are too...

Stay well CS...

It is about time...

2005-12-18T16:26:00.000-05:00

Myanmar agrees to release Aung San Suu Kyi. She was the world's only Nobel Peace Prize winner (1991) under detention.

http://news.inq7.net/breaking/index.php?index=3&story_id=59868

Talk about struggle and freedom...Burma has imprisoned her for years and now she is finally going to be free.

Please read this article...kinda crazy...

http://www.gulf-daily-news.com/Story.asp?Article=130037&Sn=WORL&IssueID=28271

When you get the chance, please read Nobel's bio of her...interesting what she continues to go through to get freedom for her country.

http://nobelprize.org/peace/laureates/1991/kyi-bio.html

This guy is about as American as...

2005-12-16T18:01:00.000-05:00

Nikita Sergeyevich Khrushchev...

"A story in The New York Times on Friday claimed that Bush secretly signed an order authorizing the National Security Agency to eavesdrop on Americans who were communicating with individuals overseas to determine if they had terrorist ties.

Sources with knowledge of the program have since told CNN that Bush did sign the secret order in 2002. The sources refused to be identified because the program is classified."

hmm...

"The NSA eavesdrops on billions of communications worldwide. While the NSA is barred from domestic spying, it can get warrants issued with the permission of a special court called the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act Court.
The court is set up specifically to issue warrants allowing wiretapping on domestic soil."

Next thing you know, Corporations are going to be breaking their charters too....ooops...t0o late on that one...

I still have faith in the U.S. Senate...

2005-12-16T13:55:00.000-05:00

The U.S. House of Reps....not so much.

The Senate on Friday rejected attempts to reauthorize several provisions of the USA Patriot Act as infringing too much on Americans' privacy and liberty, dealing a huge defeat to the Bush administration and Republican leaders.
In a crucial vote early Friday, the bill's Senate supporters were not able to get the 60 votes needed to overcome a threatened filibuster by Sens. Russ Feingold, D-Wisconsin, and Larry Craig, R-Idaho, and their allies. The final vote was 52-47.

Sittin' here wishing I could hoist a brew with Ol' Salty (CS) this weekend...

2005-12-16T13:05:00.000-05:00

that's about all on my mind right now...

Does this ever happen to you CS?

2005-12-16T12:57:00.000-05:00

"Major Major floundered bewilderedly from one embarrassing catastrophe to another. Without consulting him, Sergeant Towser had his belongings moved into the roomy trailer Major Duluth had occupied alone, and when Major Major came rushing breathlessly into the orderly room to report the theft of his things, the young corporal there scared him half out of his wits by leaping to his feet and shouting ‘Attention!’ the moment he appeared. Major Major snapped to attention with all the rest in the orderly room, wondering what important personage had entered behind him. Minutes passed in rigid silence, and the whole lot of them might have stood there at attention till doomsday if Major Danby had not dropped by from Group to congratulate Major Major twenty minutes later and put them all at ease." - Joseph Heller

If you like smooth and mellow...

2005-12-16T11:52:00.000-05:00

I caught Iron&Wine (AKA Sam Beam) this summer at Bonnaroo and just love to chill to his music. I don't know how long these links will work, but if you want to have a listen to one of his songs, right-click here (then select "open in new window"):

http://audiofind.ru/music.phtml?id=189951

then, right-click on the russian lettering in blue ending in "fond.com" and "save target as" to your hard drive. It is safe (I don't know the legality of the DL, but when has that stopped us?) Give the song a whirl a couple of times and you will be hooked. here are the lyrics:

http://www.alwaysontherun.net/ironandwine.htm#34

Sam Beam teaches cinematography at a local Miami college...great live show...

Gotta love technology!!!!

2005-12-14T19:41:00.000-05:00

I am posting this from my Blackberry!!!

Soon, the world will be mine!!!! Muh hahahah

I swear if the Senate doesn't do something about this...

2005-12-14T19:23:00.000-05:00

By a 251-174 vote Wednesday, the U.S. House of Representatives agreed to renew 16 of the Patriot Act's provisions that were set to expire at year's end.

"ooh...ooh..." (imagine my hand is raised) "Can you please ILLEGALLY listen to the phone sex I have and look into what I read in the loo and see what my doctor last told me about smoking pot in the name of terrorism? pleeeeease....pretty, pretty pleeeease"

As I have said before...our country wasn't founded on the idea that the "ends" justify the "means".

Canucks...

2005-12-14T19:22:00.000-05:00

Hey...only Americans can bash America...it says so (sorta) in the Constitution...

"U.S. Ambassador David Wilkins, who warned Canadian politicians on Tuesday not to bash the United States as part of their campaigning, denied on Wednesday he was trying to control the election debate."

2005-12-14T18:41:00.000-05:00

Just for some levity on a shitty day...White Trash Party Nov. 2005...

2005-12-14T18:40:00.000-05:00

Just for some levity on a shitty day...Halloween 2005...Ali G for those who think my costume sucks....

Can we be Aristocrats?

2005-12-14T17:32:00.000-05:00

A man walks into a talent agent's office and says that he has an act . . .

"Vulgarity is a very comedian-centered thing. You don't see a lot of physicists saying "It's a muon, you cunt."

So...I have been meaning to ask: Am I allowed to swear on this blog thing? I mean, does it say anywhere that I can't say "fuck the fucking fuck, the god-damned fucktard..."?

just asking...geez...

Just one of those damn days...

2005-12-14T17:30:00.000-05:00

"And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire..."

Robert Randolph and the Family Band

2005-12-14T17:24:00.000-05:00

Woo Hoo!!! Just picked up some tickets to see RR&FB on New Years Eve...outta sight!!!!

2005-12-13T11:31:00.000-05:00

Nobody fucks with the Jesus...

I feel like a Little Lebowski Urban Achiever today...

2005-12-13T11:03:00.000-05:00

The Big Lebowski:Your revolution is over, Mr. Lebowski. Condolences. The bums lost. My advice is to do what your parents did; get a job, sir. The bums will always lose. Do you hear me, Lebowski?
The Big Lebowski: The bums will always lose!
Brandt: How was your meeting, Mr. Lebowski?
The Dude: Okay. The old man told me to take any rug in the house.

not to be outdone by:

The Dude:Jesus, man, could you change the channel?
Cab Driver: Fuck you man. If you don't like my fuckin' music get your own fuckin' cab!
The Dude: I had a rough...
Cab Driver: I pull over and kick your ass out!
The Dude: Come on, man. I had a rough night and I hate the fuckin' Eagles, man!

WTF Bush?

2005-12-12T18:56:00.000-05:00

How can a comparison between the US's struggle for freedom and Iraq's be made? Because the final goal is the same? C'mon...that is like comparing Jessica Biel to Jessica Lange. "ah...both are women..." bullshit...

Our forefathers (and mothers...can't forget good ol Martha Washington..."everyday George would come home, she would have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man, when he come in the door, man, she was a hip, hip, hip lady, man") took it upon themselves to do what was necessary to ensure freedom to every white, male person in the states. too bad it took a while for all women and minorities, but don't get me going there...

just the same, I don't feel right comparing the two...but I could be wrong...usually am...

Stanley "Tookie" Williams rant

2005-12-12T16:46:00.000-05:00

Everyone has their opinions on the death penalty, and since this is my blog, I can write whatever I want to. It actually says so there in the 1st Amendment:

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances."

Anywho, I really don't know much about this case to speak with any certainty, but this is what I feel:

Mistakes can be made in any court trial, but if you are up for four (4) counts of murder, you probably did something bad to get to this point in the first place. And I think that twelve (12) jurors are pretty sure that crimes were committed if they can honestly say that you are guilty beyond a reasonable doubt and even moreso if they say you should die for it.

In my own opinion, I would never be on a possible capital crime jury. BUT...that doesn't mean I don't see the need for it in American society. If a majority of the people (or even just each states' legislature) want it, then I have no qualms about it. Someone's brother, sister, mom, dad, friend, lover, etc...was killed. I can see the justice with "an eye for an eye".

But in Tookie Williams' case in specific, Hollywood is now putting their two cents into the battle and people say he has changed his ways from the days when he was a gang member ("Cribs" originally, then erroniously renamed "Crips"). But to tell you the truth, I assume all but the truly sadistic death row squatters have found religion and are changed men. Who wouldn't be when you actually know the day you are going to die.

But why didn't they become changed men before the crimes happened? Some of you will say that growing up in a hard-knock life or even drugs makes the person the way he is. But c'mon. You all know right and wrong as well as I do.

Then there is the idea of the victims' families. They no longer can have a conversation or hug their relative/friend. If something happened to someone I love, sure as shit I won't want anything less than what a jury hands out. Nothing more, nothing less. (I am not normally an optimist)

And for all of you that find the death penalty a cruel and unusual punishment...I am sorry you feel that way. Take for example NYPD officer Daniel Enchautegui this week. I think it is cruel and unusual punishment for him to get shot while trying to stop crime in his neighborhood. I don't care if some "actor" made a bad decision. You kill a cop, you die. Easy as that. Now, I don't wish death on anyone, but again, common sense. Please note that before Daniel succumbed to the bullet in his chest, he was able to fire shots into two (count with me, ...one...two) criminals and place both in critical condition. My sympathy goes to Daniel's family and friends and to those that were family and friends to Tookie Williams' victims. (And I really liked "A Bronx Tale". )

PS...it is a shame that we all know names like "Stanley Tookie Williams","Charles Manson", "David Berkowitz", and "Osama Bin Laden" instead of their victims' names...

A day like today...

2005-12-12T12:37:00.000-05:00

I've think i have a case of the "mondays" now...

"Peter Gibbons: Let me ask you something. When you come in on Monday, and you're not feelin' real well, does anyone ever say to you, 'Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays'?

Lawrence: No. No, man. Shit, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' something like that, man. "

2005-12-12T12:21:00.000-05:00

Rusted Root...

When the Cat Turned Blue...

2005-12-12T10:57:00.000-05:00

Oh...what a freaking awesome weekend.

Went to WV on Friday night to go to a friend's company holiday party. Free booze and food. Nothing better huh PK? My friend (JH2) warned me about all of her drunk girlfriends...wow. Shots were flowing like wine. and the best part were the young college girls and their willingness...nay...eagerness to offer up body shots...

Drove back Saturday to DC for an engagement party. Again...free booze and food. The "wake" (see: engagement party) was very elegant. As with any social event, there is always the person that wakes up in the morning and goes: "I did WHAT last night?" This statement will be said by the host of the "wake". Since it is wicked cold here in DC, the host had set up a fire pit for all the smokers to be able to stay warm while outside. After drinking too much scotch, he forgot that the mesh lid to the pit was metal and grabbed it with his hand. ouch.

My buddy and I had to leave the party early to make the Rusted Root show at the 9:30 club for their East Coast tour finale. Excellent Excellent Excellent. nothing like drunk hippies and jam music. the booze wasn't free at the club, but the shots went down just as easy. I've liked Rusted for over 10 years and I haven't seen Rusted since the Voodoo Music Fest in NOLA in 2003, so it was a great reminder of the past. I kinda wish I was as "heady" as I was back at the 2003 show... alas, great show...great weekend. Hope you all had a great weekend too....

Not so cool of our gov't...

2005-12-12T10:53:00.000-05:00

As reported by News 10 in Sandy Eggo:

"There's controversy over how the military is transporting the bodies of service members killed overseas, 10News reported.
A local family said fallen soldiers and Marines deserve better and that one would think our war heroes are being transported with dignity, care and respect. It said one would think upon arrival in their hometowns they are greeted with honor. But unfortunately, the family said that is just not the case.
Dead heroes are supposed to come home with their coffins draped with the American flag -- greeted by a color guard.
But in reality, many are arriving as freight on commercial airliners -- stuffed in the belly of a plane with suitcases and other cargo. John Holley and his wife, Stacey, were stunned when they found out the body of their only child, Matthew, who died in Iraq last month, would be arriving at Lindbergh Field as freight.
"When someone dies in combat, they need to give them due respect they deserve for (the) sacrifice they made," said John Holley.
John and Stacey Holley, who were both in the Army, made some calls, and with the help of U.S. Sen. Barbara Boxer, Matthew was greeted with honor and respect.
"Our familiarity with military protocol and things of that sort allowed us to kind of put our foot down -- we're not sure other parents have that same knowledge," said Stacey Holley.
The Holleys now want to make sure every fallen hero gets the proper welcome.
The bodies of dead service members arrive at Dover Air Force Base.
From that point, they are sent to their families on commercial airliners.
Reporters from 10News called the Defense Department for an explanation. A representative said she did not know why this is happening."

I have so many things I want to say...but I'll refrain for once....Yoss

Irish woman singing roots rock reggae

2005-12-07T14:16:00.000-05:00

If you want an interesting 2 hours...head over to NPR (see link at right) to listen to Sinead O'Connor (Nothing Compares 2 U) sing reggae at the 9:30 club (DC)...

Interesting to say the least...not too bad...

On a high (no pun intended) note, a buddy and I are going to see Rusted Root on Saturday at the 9:30 woo hoo!!!

I am almost too embarrassed...almost...

2005-12-06T10:50:00.000-05:00

Within the last two weeks, I have been stood up TWICE by two different girls!!!

WTF?!!!

I mean...I can maybe understand it happening once, but twice? hmmm... I have not been a stalker either...

I have been really bummed out lately between crazy girls and winter...hmmm...

One was supposed to go to the Marley show with me, but she said she couldn't get out of work last minute (true? dunno). Then another girl was going to go with me and she asked "what time is the show" and then never got back to me... (so maybe it is three girls that stood me up)

the second (official) stand-up was this weekend. I was going to take it easy on saturday and stay in and chill. I get this call from a hottie i have been talking to. she asks me over at 11pm. woo hoo!!! so i show up at her place in DC and her roommate answers and says that the hottie was drunk and went to Dupont Circle (all within a half hour!!!)

lets just say i am a bit jaded with the "fairer" sex right now...

thought for food

2005-12-04T12:32:00.000-05:00

er...strike that and reverse it...

"Yossarian - the very sight of the name made him shudder. There were so many esses in it. It just had to be subversive. It was like the word subversive itself. It was like sidicious and insidious too, and like socialist, suspicious, facist, and Communist. It was an odious, alien, distasteful name that just did not inspire confidence." ~ Joseph Heller

2nd Timothy 4:6-8

2005-12-03T16:00:00.000-05:00

For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand.

I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:

Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.

Staff Sgt. Daniel J. Clay
Lance Cpl. John M. Holmason
Lance Cpl. David A. Huhn
Lance Cpl. Adam W. Kaiser
Lance Cpl. Robert A. Martinez
Cpl. Anthony T. McElveen
Lance Cpl. Scott T. Modeen
Lance Cpl. Andrew G. Patten
Sgt. Andy A. Stevens
Lance Cpl. Craig N. Watson

Damian Marley @ the 9:30

2005-12-02T17:58:00.000-05:00

I checked out Damian Marley last night and the show F'in rocked. He sang with such energy that you don't know where it comes from. The funniest part of the show is that there was one guy up on stage that gets paid to wave a flag (Ethiopian I think) during the entire show. I don't know how his arms can actually keep going for that long. Damian played a few of his pop's songs which was pretty cool.

He just released a new record called "Welcome to JamRock." It is not bad...

I don't think I have ever been this drunk...

2005-12-01T13:09:00.000-05:00

or maybe I have, and I just don't remember because I blacked out. Have any of you ever been here?:

So a couple of days ago, I was to go out and have drinks with a friend of mine so that she could (uncomfortably) introduce me to a friend of hers that she said I would think was cute. Unbeknownst to me during that afternoon, my friend (we'll call her SK) decided that it would be a good idea to drink Absinthe with a friend of hers. Around 8pm, SK is calling me every 5 minutes to see where I was. When I finally get to the front of her building, I call her to come down and there is no answer. I wait a few minutes, get impatient and then park my car and go up to her apartment.

After banging on the door for a minute, I open the door which was unlocked (luckily, since my numbchuck skills have replaced my lock-picking skills), and walk around her apartment saying "Hellloooo....it's just (enter my real name)" There is an empty bottle of this fake Absinthe on the coffee table with all this sugar laying around. Despite not being the real stuff, it was still from Europe and 140 proof (for you non-alcys, 70% alcohol). I can't find her, so I go back to her room where the door was shut. I knock on that, still calling out her name and say that it is just me. I find her passed out on her bed with her phone clutched between her paws. I shake her a bunch of times saying that she needs to wake up (which she really must do but she seems to not want to...she just mumbles a bunch). So I told her if she doesn't wake up, I am going to be an asshole. She doesn't, so I am. I got the Brita out of the fridge, poured a tall glass and then walked back and offered one last refuge. More mumbling. "ok...i am going to be an asshole" and slowly pour the very cold water on her head. She bolts up-right and screams "you asshole!!!".

"I told you I was going to be one...you apparently didn't believe me."

Surprisingly, she then says "ok...lets go meet (new girl)". I told her she was too drunk to go anywhere. She insisted and I told her to go puke herself to get all the alcohol out that hasn't been absorbed in her system. She says that she doesn't know how.

c'mon...what woman doesn't know how to force herself to throw-up? (just joshing all you ladies) but i force her to and she feels much better after.

so...have many of you passed out after sharing a bottle of Absinthe with a buddy?

2005-12-01T12:48:00.000-05:00

Another one of Bush's fine exit strategies

It has really got to suck when...

2005-12-01T12:08:00.000-05:00

you are the President of the United States and no one believes you. Take for example Bush's speech on his Plan for Victory in Iraq at the USNA yesterday. First off, being that the speech was at the USNA and in the middle of the day, no one (except the midshipmen) really paid attention to what was being said. If you want to sway the public's opinion that you really aren't mentally handicapped, have it at 8pm so that it interupts everyone's escape from reality (unless in fact you are a follower of "reality" TV, then it is just a plain ol' interuption.)

Then there is the fact that he spoke in front of military personnel. C'mon...is "speaking to the choir" really a challenge? I don't see too many military families that are Anti-Bush with bumper stickers that state "If you can read this, then you are not the President." I was hoping for some Plebe to rock the boat and shout "You Suck!!" and then promptly be taken outside and shot.

Lastly, of the people that did hear or watch the speech, 55% of them don't believe Bush even has a plan for victory according to the Gallup/CNN/USAToday poll (i know...some of you are going to say that is liberal media, but still...) I bet a higher percentage of people would think that Paris Hilton has actual plans on how to win this war quickly. But, then again, this doesn't say much for the people of the US. hmmm....

That is enough of my political spouting for now...

Music Part 001 (KCRW)

2005-11-30T18:42:00.000-05:00

check out the link to the right: "KCRW - Morning Becomes Eclectic." It is the website of a California radio station that gets artists to play live before they become really big (and sometimes after they become really big). All day today, I have been playing the Imogen Heap video. She has a solo career and is also half of Frou Frou (pronounced froo froo). You might not know this band by name, but if you have ever watched "Garden State", then you know their music...

oh...and check out some Irishmen called "The Frames". F'in brilliant...

Think Sam L. Clemens was a smart man?

2005-11-30T18:19:00.000-05:00

Man is the only animal that deals in that atrocity of atrocities, War. He is the only one that gathers his brethren about him and goes forth in cold blood and calm pulse to exterminate his kind. He is the only animal that for sordid wages will march out... and help to slaughter strangers of his own species who have done him no harm and with whom he has no quarrel.... And in the intervals between campaigns he washes the blood off his hands and works for "the universal brotherhood of man" - with his mouth. -- Mark Twain

2005-11-30T17:57:00.000-05:00

not good... please note that this is not an indention of my license plate on the back of some nutter's car, but rather a Xerox of it. see, my license plate lettering is blue and, well, you can guess the rest of the story...ha ha ha oh, and here is to German engineering, my car was completely fine...

Thanks to Chairborne Stranger...

2005-11-30T17:12:00.000-05:00

or maybe not...this is my attempt at a blog...what's the worst that could happen? oohh...maybe someone could start posting random thoughts on my blog... wait, that is what i am supposed to do. darn darn darn...

wish me luck